Y Tuesday, June 19, 2007
the findings.
yea. so wads if its me? so what if everyone think i was the one who screw it up? fine. let u all just ignore me. dao me. i dun give a damn care anymore. yea. i lose my cool easily. whatever la. if u were ever in my shoes, maybe u would think and hope for a miracle. but i gave up on that. sry.
yesterday, u were out. with the joshua from HCI. yea. bet his quite good looking. or at least, his 1 million times better thn me. i wont deny the fact. the thing i found out was, he likes u as well. and he thinks i'm his love rival. crap. bullshit. i alrdy dun stand a chance. what rival. screw off la. i'm not trying to be crude or talk behind yr back. but sry. the way u put in through me was kinda sarcastic.
he asked me what u liked. very much. isnt it an obvious interest in you? nvm if u dun admit that. u'll probably tell me u treat him as a very great fren, a brother whom u can trust and so on and forth. yea. he so much better la. why even bother. i dun get it. in yr blog. u miss joshua ang. why not u just tell him u like him? isnt it obvious that u have a liking towards him and yet deny it? yea, u'll probably tell me u're not certain and all that. fine. reason accepted.
knowing someone else who likes u. its kinda hard to be gentle with yr words. but who cares. i did it. i spoke gently to the HCI joshua who likes you. that night. i just went straight to bed. and lie there and stare at the ceiling. call me emo call me too sentimental. i dun give a screw damn. i just cried. i just wonder. why me. and thn, i turn to the bear u gave me so lovingly last year during christmas, i simply cried. even as i type this. tears just fall. my keyboard's is wet. i promise bear bear, that i'll take care of it. forever.
i see yr face. yr smile, hear yr laughter. u're the most complete girl i ever met. yet, somethings are just ironic. everything simply painted on the ceiling i was facing. everything. the fireworks and everything. that very qn that u ask. 'is there anything on my hair?' under the umbrella. those eyes. whatever la. anyway, to everyone, i'm just pathetic creep blogging here. i felt hurt ytd. very hurt.
maybe it was just me feeling hurt and you feeling so happy after meeting joshua. but who cares. u're nvr know. i'm very worried abt yr cough. your toe. maybe u cant tell. but its alright. i'lkl just be behind there. helping u. no matter how great the sacrifice.
was it just me?
i felt hurt.
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